Real Life Ayahuasca Journey

Purging, releasing old energies, body shifting with stages,

Facing off with deep, dark shadows over again.

The more I resist the harder it hits,

Until I break and have nothing left. Surrender.

For close to a month I have been living a real life Aya journey and it has been excruciating,

Because I made it so.

I resisted, pushed, pulled, looked outside of me, pointed fingers and blamed.

The matrix we play in makes it so easy to look outside of ourselves.

𝕀𝕥'𝕤 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕞𝕖. 𝕀𝕥'𝕤 𝕪𝕠𝕦!

As with any medicine journey, intention is everything.

What I didn't realise is when I set the intention to fully commit and receive it all a few months ago,

Life took me on a journey to show me all the things, all my internal darkness and shadow that was preventing me from exactly that.

My internal medicine awoke,

The holograms appeared,

The reflections of my internal world devastated me.

ℍ𝕠𝕨??? 𝕀'𝕧𝕖 𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕖𝕕 𝕤𝕠 𝕞𝕦𝕔𝕙 𝕠𝕗 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤!!!!

This period has been reflection after reflection of even more healing around my Mum.

The narcissism, the betrayal, the emotional abuse, the manipulation, the outbursts, my physical body triggering old trauma responses.

So much it's been excruciating in every way, as the old paradigm has had to shatter.

The remembrance of my childhood and not feeling safe.

The reminders of everytime she left because things got too hard.

The pain she caused my little girl through the pain she was holding and projecting.

The abandonment, the conditions, the outbursts.

Unsafe, uneasy, unloved.

I've been focused on the other person, thinking their behaviour was their wounding...

What a great mirror that I was too blind to see myself.

My behaviour was my wounding. My wounds bleeding on others.

The anger evident as I sat with soul family last night reflecting.

It hitting me like a slap in the face, that I have been a big part of the problem!

Too unconscious because I thought it was all healed.

Stepping off the pedestal I put myself on by stopping to recognise and go within.

Actually hearing what the other person was saying, which is what I was demanding of them.

And realising I have certainly showed up out of integrity to my heart and spat venom as much as they.

Ouch!

Thankfully, I have the most incredible soul fam who see life through the hologram I do and can hold me as I work through it.

There is much showing up for me right now in how I choose to fully commit, when I can and will always find a reason to run (we create our reality right).

There is even more I'm working through to allow myself to trust, to soften, to be vulnerable and not lash out when I am triggered.

There is even greater aspects I'm working through to allow myself to RECEIVE the MAGIC in this area of my life...

Deeper yet, actually see the MAGIC when the darkness is consuming.

Of course as I'm creating the MANIFESTATION PORTAL, I'm being initiated into this container myself before I take my clients through.

Happens every time.

The holograms, having to take the most intense radical responsibility of what I'm focused on and thus creating, to depths I've never encountered within myself.

To hold myself and connect in all the pieces, bringing them back home.

Witnessing the stories I'm creating, the meanings I'm giving.

Where I'm FOC blocking myself.

And thus preventing me from RECEIVING this next level version of life, of me.

RECEIVE what you truly desire,  Join Krissy on November 20th at 1PM AEST as she will guide you to Uplift, Inspire and Empower your Highest Self to step into TRUE ALIGNMENT with what you want.

REGISTER HERE: https://krissyjewell.com/askreceive

It stops here.

I'm burning it all down.

I'm welcoming all the parts of myself home again and again.

I'm facing the shadows and having to find unconditional love like never before.

Holding myself whilst the tantrums rise and fall.

Pointing fingers, realising three are pointing back at me - going deeper within.

Hold the line for yourself baby girl.

You wanted this.

How committed are you really to facing off with your past, the parts of you that have prevented you from having this already, and preventing you still?

Only you can decide.